So on to how things have been concerning my year abroad. I haven’t talked to my host parents that much, tbh. But that was okay because I was super busy with finishing our ~senior news paper~ and prom/graduation. But now that all is over and done, all the typical pre-gap-year feelings came running all over me.
Excitement, skepticism, curiosity, doubts, Wanderlust, light fear – they are circling my mind, especially these days, giving me a hard time to fall asleep at night. The funny thing is that this constant up and down of feelings is totally new to me. I mean, I’ve been in this ~business~ before. But unlike now, before I went to the US all I felt was happiness, excitement and the utter certainty that this was going to be the best effing year ever (which did turn out to be true, btw). No doubts, no fear, no nothing. And now? Look at me, the pile of emotional instabiltiy that I am. Okay, I tend to exaggerate. It’s really not that bad 😀 In fact, it’s not bad at all because this seems to be a perfectly normal condition that pretty much every Au pair / exchange student to be is going through. Plus, the doubts and skepticism I experienced prove to me that I really do not underestimate that job. Something that, in my opinion, is essential for mastering this year. While being an Au pair is probably one of the best jobs ever one should definitely not forget that it can be just as hard. Especially if you’re having four kids to take care off! So looking at it this way, my Ups and Downs are somehow reassuring.
Other than that? Well, I think I’m going to have a really, really hard time saying goodbye to my friends and family. Since coming back home from my exchange year I feel like my family has become so much more important to me as before, although this is barely possible. It probably has something to do with how your view on things change and how you value them differently once you were distanced from them for a while. And then there’s the fact that knowing once I leave, nothing will ever be the same again. I will have changed, my friends will too, and so will the circumstances I’ve been living in. When I come back home I will have to move out to go to university almost right away ( omg!! Moving out!!! Out of my childhood home!! I can’t even!!! Too much Adulting!! ) . Most of my friends in our ~squad~ are already moving away this fall. While they may or may not slowly thrift apart from one another, starting different lives, making new friends and all those things adulthood brings with it, I’ll literally be at the end of the world doing the same. But whereas the change will come slowly for my friends giving them time to adjust to everything and accept things as they are, I’ll be thrown into that new situation when I come back, expected to deal with it. Easy peasy, right! But I’m probably making a fuss about nothing: I also tend to be overly dramatic when I write. I’d probably make a good author:D Anyway, everything will probably be as it’s always been. After all I’m living in a small town, nothing ever changes here 😀
It may sound as if I were afraid of change but I’m really not, on the contrary. Just if it comes to my friends and family I’m definitely a creature of habit and I can’t stand the thought of not having all those wonderful people in my life.
So, that’s all for now. Which is, looking over this post, quite much. I swear, I’m destined to be a writer. 😀 Okay, c ya later guys, hopefully sooner than later!
Sorry for the long post. Here you have a potato.